CHRISTMAS GREETINGS FROM THE JOHNSONS -- 1996

Contents

Dogs greet space aliens and save the world

A railroad in the basement

Cat enjoys washing dishes

Editorial: Hey, what kind of newsletter is this, anyway?

Sharing the Christmas spirit

Dogs greet space alien
and save the world

With a flash of light, a small grey alien materialized in the family room. Young "Squirmin' Sherman" and Gunther (the fat old white-faced grandpa dog) raced to greet him with cookies, eggnog, and lots of wags and kisses.

What was supposed to have been just another routine abduction became a valuable lesson in the brotherhood of man-and man's best friend-for our intergallactic visitor. This strange bond between humans, canines, cats and even twinkling pine trees brought a tear to his bulging bug eyes as he realized we really can "all just get along." After a nickel-tour of the galaxy (the dogs love car rides), the alien left with a warm fuzzy feeling (golden retrievers shed).

A Railroad in the basement

Talk about a hobby gone haywire!

Jessica and Gunther watch and Rick just says "cheese" as Chris singlehandedly supports a diesel locomotive on its way to the railroad Rick is building in the basement.

It's getting a little crowded down there, as you can imagine, but you really can't get the effect of a modern freight train unless you have at least three locomotives, twenty-some cars and a caboose. If you think your house gets rowdy when the Packers play, you should hear this place thunder when the guys come over to run trains!

Cat enjoys washing dishes

Every able-bodied person in this house is expected to pull his/her own weight, and the animals are no exception.

One chore our tabby, Noodle, seems to enjoy is washing dishes. Having no opposable thumb, she uses her tongue instead of a dish cloth. Hmm... Maybe that's why nobody wants to have dinner with us anymore.

Editorial

Hey, what kind of newsletter is this, anyway?

Good grief, not this stuff again! This Christmas newsletter looks more like a tabloid, for Pete's sake! And just read this stuff. Lies. All lies. Well, mostly lies.

Truth is, we just had another average year. Here's what happened:

• Jessica, 20, works as a Certified Nurse's Assistant at Westmoreland Manor nursing home. She bought a car this year and has been making good use of it!
• Matt is a senior at Waukesha South High School and works as a stocker at Target. He's amassed one serious computer-stereo-video setup, all of which he has networked together.
• Chris still works at Cooper, but would rather be making quilts or watching birds. The rest of us would surely flounder and perish without her.
• Rick still works as an illustrator. You can see his work in magazines such as Model Railroader, Astronomy and Earth.
• The dogs have never actually seen an extraterrestrial--or if they have they never said anything and we never got pictures of it. And that cat has never washed a dish in her life.
• The railroad in the basement is HO scale (much smaller than shown here), complete with an HO scale Godzilla monster. And yes, Chris can lift one of those locomotives with one hand.
• Raising two teenagers has certainly been an interesting experience. We now have a much deeper respect for our parents and the advice they gave us.

Seriously, though, we wish you and your loved ones an enjoyable Christmas and a fun-filled 1997.

| Graffix | Illustration | Graffix Software |