CHRISTMAS GREETINGS FROM THE JOHNSONS -- 1993

Contents

Lunar vacation is "out of this world"

Jessica joins well-known 60's band

Dog gets driver's license

Editorial: Hey, what kind of newsletter is this, anyway?

Lunar vacation is "out of this world"

Where do you go on vacation when your only limitation (and perhaps your only means) is your imagination? As Jackie Gleason often said, "To the moon, Alice!"

So off we went. It was a long drive, but here we are at last, in a place even colder and more desolate than Osceola. Rick and Chris assume the traditional "mom and dad" pose. Jessica leans back to enjoy the view (she can't enjoy the pool, because there's no water here). Matt tests the effects of bouncing off a soft, powdery surface in a minimal-gravity environment (Matt tests everything). Oskar, golden retriever no. 2, is just happy to be with us.

So where's Gunther, golden retriever no. 1? Well, somebody had to take the picture!

Jessica joins well-known 60's band

As though playing in five bands at Waukesha South High School weren't enough (she plays clarinet and saxophone in the marching band, orchestra, jazz ensemble, varsity band and concert band), Jessica has recently accepted an invitation to join Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band when they regroup in January 1994 to record a tribute to the Beatles.

"I'm not replacing [former Beatle] John Lennon," says Jessica. "He's a god. No one could ever replace him. I'm simply adding a horn section and some vocal harmonies to the band. Besides, how could I turn down an opportunity to wear this awesome costume?"

Dog gets driver's license

Look out! It's our golden retriever, Gunther, at the wheel, and his motto is "If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!"

Gunther and Oskar (our other golden retriever) enjoy car rides so much that one day they left us a note informing us that they had gone to run some errands, and this time it was us who should "stay!"

Gunther eventually found the courage to stop at the driver's license testing station-and he passed with flying colors! When we need a gallon of milk and a box of Milk Bones, it's sure convenient sending the Mutt Brothers to the store!

Editorial

Hey, what kind of newsletter is this, anyway?

What's going on here? What kind of Christmas newsletter is this? It looks more like a tabloid, for Pete's sake! And just read this stuff. Lies. All lies.

Why not just do a regular newsletter? Because we're not regular folks-but you already knew that. Besides, it's hard to write "we went nowhere and did nothing" and make it sound interesting. So we lied.

OK, here are the facts:

• Jessica is a junior at Waukesha South High School (where she really is in 5 bands) and works as a page at the Waukesha library.
• Matt is a freshman and works as a cook at Oscar's Frozen Custard. He's also quite adept at computer graphics and is responsible for much of the photo trickery you see here.
• Chris still works as a routing analyst at Cooper Power Systems.
• Rick still works as an illustrator and does freelance work at home.
• This fall we moved the living room into the family room and moved the computer and sewing machine into the living room. Weird, but it works out great for us!
• We spent our vacation at home doing yard work.
• The dogs live for car rides, and would gladly drive if given the chance. With two dogs and two cats, our household is only 50% human.
• Only the three remaining Beatles will reunite in January. Sorry, Jessica!

So what does any of this have to do with Christmas? Nothing, really. We're just having fun.

Seriously, though, we wish you and your loved ones an enjoyable Christmas and a fun-filled 1994.

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